3 things I love most about self-isolating
I get it, for most people this is a difficult time. We are all safe and sound curled up with Netflix and our families or on our own, lonely but not sick.
The natural urge to socialise, to give our extended families a hug or to just meet on the street and to quickly have a catch-up cannot be fulfilled. At times, it feels like we are all in prison for a crime we didn’t commit.
The world has come to a standstill and we cannot do anything about it.
However, don’t judge me. I like this time in solitude.
Here’s why.
In a world gone crazy, I have the people most important to me right here, by my side
It seems like a lifetime ago that I went to Switzerland with my 3 children to avoid this corona nonsense. When the Tokyo schools abruptly closed their doors at the end of February, we hightailed it to Zürich, next to what was becoming the newest hotbed of the infection, we were soon to find out.
We weren’t there 2 weeks when Switzerland, who shares a border with northern Italy and has thirty-thousand migrant workers cross its border each day, went under full lockdown.
I was lucky to catch one of the last flights home, to Tokyo, where my husband was waiting for me.
Life here hasn’t been easy. We don’t speak Japanese. Despite our best efforts and intentions, we truly don’t understand the culture. And, beyond that, there is a state of flux on how to handle our children, ourselves and our social lives.
Following our 2 week quarantine, I’ve insisted on using the cautious approach. We’re not seeing friends, I don’t go to the shops and we only go outside to exercise early in the morning.
And to say that it is not popular would be an understatement.
I have to admit that it is hard for Johan and the children because our family is not in the visible majority. We are rather in the minority. Or maybe it just feels like that.
When the kids are invited to go play with their friends in the park, the strong answer is no.
When we are invited to visit friends, I feel like a crazy person when I decline.
We are living in unprecedented times.
The Prime Minister has declared a state of emergency. The governor has pleaded with the citizens of Tokyo to stay inside. And, at this time, Japan is under the spotlight for under-testing for the virus.
I feel, as I always have, that you have to go with your gut, re-adjust along the way and get on with it. I don’t treat this differently, in any way.
I get to focus inward
After the year I have had, I guess it just seems natural to me.
After all of the hours logged in therapy sessions, working to find something, anything, that was lost in my stroke, I have done a great job of putting my nose to the grindstone and getting the work done.
I still spend 5 hours per day in therapy, organised and unstructured. These days are no different.
I wake up, give everyone breakfast, take them to the park for exercise, sit them by their computers to start their school day and (phew) have a cup of coffee. Then I can begin my day.
Only to stop again to enjoy lunch with my team and again at 5 sharp because if there’s one thing I want to do, it’s making healthy meals for us.
All that to say, that despite the natural disruption that this lifestyle brings with it, I still find the time to do the work.
I get that this trait might not come naturally and it’s most likely the efforts of hunkering down, putting my eyes on a very significant goal.
For one of my children, it is a very different story.
Friso is easily energised by socialising. He loves to talk and is very confident. He revels in group collaborations.
I feel his isolation during the past weeks. While he gets it (he is my objective thinker) he spends his time silently mulling it over.
From my introverted eyes, I want to respect how he feels but, at the same time, come up with some new and interesting ways to attack this.
And, it is time to just slow down
While this might sound like the opposite of the day I just described to you, slowing down is exactly what we are doing. Going thru the days together.
We are all together!
I don’t remember when the last time was when we had dinner with each other 7 nights a week! We go to the park together. We play games. We drew a hopscotch court in the driveway and I kicked their butts at it. We watch movies, all snuggled in bed together.
Cleo has read all of the Babysitters’ Club novels - there were 16 of them! She made loom band bracelets for everyone. And her baking skills have drastically improved.
Lulu has dragged the sewing machine out and has begun to make snazzy masks for the family. If she doesn’t ease up on the baking, we will not escape with less than an additional 5 kilos per person.
This makes me happy.
My emotions are running rampant right now. They are a bit all over the place. Though I love the closeness we have and the safety I feel, I am really fighting to find a way to centre myself.
From the outside looking in it might seem that I am a scared, foolish, even absurd woman who’s trying like hell to protect her family from an invisible lawbreaking evildoer.
On the inside, however, I really feel that the risks are not worth it. Even if they are small.
You see over the last year, if I have learned anything, it is to sit patiently and wait it out. Do the work and it will pass.
I feel this way because I have looked death in its ugly, nasty eye and I am just not willing to go there again. Whatever I can do to prevent this, I am game.
In the spirit of hope, I want my children to grow up believing in themselves, that what they think or feel doesn’t have to be popular.
As long as they believe in what they are doing, it feels right to them and they are not hurting themselves or others, I encourage it.
By watching and waiting, I hope that they see a mother who doesn’t back away from her fears.