Finding your stroke-recovery mojo

Let’s face it, sometimes we all need a little bit of encouragement to face the battle, day in and day out. 

It gets rough, doesn’t it?

These days, I am struggling to find the right balance between my emotions. 

On one side, I repeat the doctor’s words in my head ‘You can walk. You can talk. Just be happy.’ Was he right? Should I just be happy with it?

It’s so much work. 

The expressive and receptive speech and language training. On and on it goes. Days just drag by. Yet here I am, 16 months after my stroke, working on my cognitive abilities. From toddler to  teenager. 

Emotional regulation. It’s so tiring. 

I mean how many exercises can I do with my physiotherapist until my foot finds out the correct way to walk and, by the way, will any of them work? 

My contacts. Putting on mascara. Going up and down the steps. Learning how to cut carrots.

All these burdens just to live a semi-normal life. 

Then I stop my mental charade of all the things that are ganging up on me and I take a beat. Those words that that doctor said just don’t sound right, echoing in the walls of my mind. 

So, I pluck myself up and get ready to dig in. These 3 steps help to redefine my path, when I‘m lost. 

Take a Break

I allow myself the free time to spend exactly how it suits me. Without reparations to myself, my family or my therapists. 

It could be one day or several. Finding that space means that you are allowing yourself to, unapologetically, soothe your soul. Eat ice cream in bed. Watch Netflix. Take long walks in nature. Light that candle you've been saving. 

Right now, for instance, I’m just at the end of a week that can only be chalked up as fruitless. I did not accomplish much on my to-do list, my thoughts were a bit black and I even wondered if I was going to continue along this path of recovery.  

The key is to recognise it and, instead of beating yourself up, let yourself feel in any which way you wish. That’s like finding a golden coin. It’s yours to spend in any way you see fit. 

It also spurs you on to reach the next step. You are the same, but because you took the time-out to find yourself amongst the rubble, you come back stronger and richer.

Reconnect with Your Goals

Now that you have found yourself, it’s time to re-establish your connection to your passions. 

What motivates you to recover, to make progress, even thru the hard times? What picks you back up one more time than you fall down? Because that’s the thing that no one can take away from you.

For me, it’s my writing. I’ve fought for 16 months to find my voice again and to make it strong. Not a day goes by without me working on some sort of training. Even in the bad days, when it’s very hard, I try to envision myself writing a bestselling book. 

It’s very important that you claw on to your passion, without abandon. That’s what gets us thru these trying times. Our goals, though difficult to realise thru the mess, will keep us in line with our pursuit.  

Set Yourself up for a Win

Now that you’ve given yourself the time and the space to reconnect with your vision of you, it‘s time to make it happen. Where to begin?

I like to start with a task that can easily be accomplished, a small win that can inspire me to break off the next chunk from the gigantic weight of recovery.

This week I didn’t want to write. It seemed too big. Too formidable. So, when I reevaluated what was important to me, I decided that writing for my book was not possible. Writing a blog was not possible. But, writing an Instagram caption was possible. So that’s exactly where I started. 

It was not a big step but it paved my way and I could easily move on to tackle another piece of this journey.

How about you? Can you think about something small, really down and dirty, nit-picky, to begin with? 

The process of recovery is not glam-packed. 

In fact, there are a lot of days where I feel like gum stuck to the bottom of my shoe. Those are not my favourite days, by a long shot, but they play an important part. When you are prepared, when you have a plan in place, I think they make us stronger and the reward much sweeter.

When I look back to all of the things I have accomplished (yes, it’s for the second time), I’m filled with a sense of pride. 

Although at times I could have easily given up, I chose to stick with it. Here I sit, still infatuated with my dream of writing that book and doing the work to make it happen.

The doctor was undoubtedly wrong.